Friday, February 6, 2009

An update

It's been about a month since Himself and I decided to be "just friends." For the last two weeks, he has called and IM'd a lot more often and has been acting like he did before his life exploded...the self-professed texting hater even texted me - twice!! Maybe because I have backed WAY off, maybe because his life is finally starting to settle into something that looks like a somewhat normal, albeit crazy busy, life. I can hear the panic and stress fading from his voice more each time we talk.

Most of our conversations have been sweet, funny, silly, normal - like they used to be - but in one conversation when we were talking about serious stuff, I said that he has a lot of making up to do and he said, "yes, I do." OK, so...

My birthday is Monday. I made sure that he knows and he has made it very clear that he is aware of the date. Since my life is even more interesting to you than it is to me, I'm sure you remember that he didn't send me a Christmas card or even call me on Christmas. Well, as hard as I am trying to have no expectations where Himself is concerned, I EXPECT a birthday card. I'm mildly ashamed of that, but I own it. If I don't get one, I think this may be The End. He loves me, I have no doubt of that. So far, he hasn't shown me that his love goes any deeper than enjoying the conversations we have. It's time for some kind of action.

I realize that a birthday card is really nothing but I need more than just words on a screen or over the phone. Even if we are "just friends" (and I think you know why it's in quotes), IMO it just isn't real if there isn't any effort to be more than words. So I have entered the time of waiting to see if he sends a card.

I flirt with the edge all the time, but this may drive me straight over the brink of insanity. See, my birthday is Monday. I will leave home early that morning, work for a few hours, then drive to Chicago...for the whole week. If a card doesn't arrive from Himself tomorrow, I won't know until next Saturday! Nothing like setting myself up...


  1. Ahhhh,, the joys of the waiting game. I hope that if he doesn't send a card, he at least remembers it in conversation.

  2. Just remember that you deserve someone who loves you more than anything.

  3. Funny how they often realize what they're missing and suddenly step up somewhat after you've "taken your ball and gone home". =)

    Here's hoping he remembers!

  4. This sounds stressful. I know this isn't quite the same, but I used to get all worked up waiting and hoping that The Husband would do something for a special occasion. He usually didn't. And then one day it clicked that it's not a reflection of how he feels about me, he's just a stupid boy (and aren't they all?) and doesn't think like I do. Now I tell him what I want.

    Again, it's not the same thing, and I probably wouldn't handle your situation that way, but just sayin' is all...

    Good luck and have a very Happy Birthday! I hope you're able to have a good time even though (if you're anything like me) you won't be able to stop thinking about it. I hope what you want to happen, happens.

  5. LG - the man has an incredible memory so I'm sure he will wish me a happy birthday. It also means he should certainly remember to send a card...if I'm important enough to him.

    SheShe - thank you, I DO deserve someone who loves me that much, which is why I am considering giving Himself the boot.

    Ivy - it is, isn't it? ;) Honestly, I'm not surprised. lol

    Stephanie - thank you, I will have a good birthday no matter what! I won't stop thinking about it, natch, so I'm considering out and out asking him if he sent a card so I don't have to spend the week on pins and needles.

  6. oh boy! I hope he doesn't disappoint you. Men are terrible with stuff like that, so you almost need forgive him in advance. They're so damn dumb.

  7. Happy Birthday! I hope he treats you right on your special day.

  8. Happy Birthday, Violet! He should SHOULD remember.

  9. Men always forget because we normally remind them...its a guy thing hon...but I do hope he remembers! :)