Friday, August 14, 2009

So I'm no good at mysterious

I was going to let my last post stand on its own, but it turns out I can't. I can't let people worry about me and wonder what's going on when the fact is I was simply having one of THOSE days and feeling disgruntled with...well, just about the whole world.

(If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? heh.)

Let's see if I can condense this:

Harumph #1 - Here's a paraphrased passage from a novel I read last week: "From a psychological perspective, intermittent reinforcement is powerful. You get a taste of what you want, enough that you think you can get it, so you keep trying." Intermittent reinforcement? Exactly what I'm getting from Himself these days. Makes me pissed at myself but there's still something that won't let me let go.

Harumph #2 - The Tall One was going to take me out for dinner this week. He wanted to take me to a very nice, relatively expensive, restaurant to thank me for all of the things I have done for him lately. (I don't think I've ever told that saga, have I? Coming soon to a blog near you - the story of the Tall One and the Violet.) He's an unemployed addict. He knew he was going to receive some money on Monday and planned to take me to dinner and pay bills with the rest. Sunday, we determined that Monday, Tuesday, or Thursday would work. I didn't hear from him Monday. I called Tuesday morning to see what was happening but he didn't answer and didn't return my call. By Wednesday night, I was worried and justifiably concerned that he had relapsed again. He finally called yesterday afternoon - he's fine, didn't relapse but he had less money than he expected and couldn't afford to take me to dinner...and was ashamed to tell me because he didn't want to break his promise. So I worried for nothing. Eejit.

Harumph #3 - A coworker keeps turning down the thermostat that controls the area my office is in. It does NOT control the area she works in. When I asked her very nicely to not turn it down, she told me, not so very nicely, that she won't stop turning it down.

Harumph #4 - Apparently I projected an angry, irritated attitude to the big boss yesterday morning when I truly wasn't feeling any sort of negative attitude at all. He asked me about it later in the day so it's all cleared up (I apologized profusely...after picking up my jaw and my eyeballs from the floor) but it made me feel about this big.

Harumph #5 - I'm having one of those weeks when being single is very hard, every day is a bad hair day, and even my eyebrow hairs won't behave. (PMS? Well, hmmm...could be.)

The whipped cream on top of this crap sundae is that my parents will be here in T-minus 8 hours. For a 10-day visit. I love them and I'm looking forward to seeing them, know. I've spent the week flipping between trying to clean to my mother's standard (her house looks like no one lives there but a maid) and trying to convince myself that I am a grown up and shouldn't be affected by their attitudes. The Ex was right about one thing - I get a little crazy when my parents are coming to stay.

All of these things stewing in my head made me wish I could give up. Just stop caring. Because if I don't care, nothing will hurt.

Shyeah, that's gonna happen!


  1. OMG! Intermittent reinforcement. I never thought of that before.

    I think a pamper yourself night, including ice cream (or a fave treat of your choice), is in order.

  2. Can I send virtual hugs!!!!

    I hope you get to enjoy having your parents there and it is a nice visit.

    Everything else...I have no idea, but did I mention hugs?

  3. If I could, I'm make you something totally sinful. Something that would leave you feeling wonderfully guilty for days. It's be awesome and take your mind off your troubles. Once your parents leave, have that "pamper yourself" night, like Twisting Ivy says. Soak in a bubble bath with a good book (if it's not too hot, that is), snuggle up on the couch with a romantic movie. I recommend Under the Tuscan Sun or Chocolat or The English Patient (even though it's kinda sad)... or if you want to take it back a few (50) years, watch It Happened One Night. Oh, man. Clark Gable is delicious. There's one particular scene where he and Claudette Colbert are forced to spend the night together in the same room. She hangs a blanket between them for privacy and, while she's getting undressed on one side, he's lying in bed on the other, blowing smoke rings in the dark. Totally hot.

    I'm getting way off track here. I'm sorry, my friend. I hope you feel better soon and next time? Kick the bitch who keeps messing with the thermostat. Coworkers of mine do that and my teeth chatter for hours. Assholes.

  4. Oh Violet, you poor dear. That is enough to merit a week's worth of crabby, irritable posts--and a girl's night out with a margarita (or two). Good luck with your folks--and the eyebrows! I have chin hairs giving me grief, so I totally relate to the facial hair frustration.

  5. Oh good god the CLEANING THING! I did it too, but now my mother is THREE BLOCKS AWaY and I can't keep that shit up all the times. Sending good thoughts your way!!!

  6. Oh my... and then 10 days of parents? Whew! Good energy coming your way Girl.

    The word verification is huffee! How funny is that?

  7. Sending girl hugs your way while getting caught up on my blog reading. Happy Sunday!

  8. Venting is good...who will argue with that??!!!! parents really there for 10 days??? be freakin too!! Your normal!

  9. You are so attractive!
    Get thee to a ball game thats where its proven easiest to meet a date
    Forget the past you have everything in your future
    Enjoy the folks, they gave you your great looks, your mom will be so impressed with how well you clean. Who isn't edgy when parents or anyone comes to visit for ten days. Don't stress, and don't sleep on your face it creates lines, you're too pretty. Dress sharp no matter where you go and get back on the saddle.
    Loads of good men dreaming of a girl like you, honest.

  10. First of all, I love you people!!

    Ivy - there is definitely pampering, including ice cream, in my future!

    Tricia - thanks for the hugs, there's no such thing as too many, right? :)

    Stephanie - I am so with you on the movies, except for the English Patient. Zzzzzzzz... Just the thought of you making me something sinful made me feel better. :)

    Greenie - mmmm, margaritas! I'm putting them on the 'pamper me' list!

    Fannie - I don't know how you do it. If my mother moved that close to me I think I'd have to invent an alter ego or something.

    Merrily - 'huffee' is hilarious!!

    Julie - thanks for the hugs, girl. :)

    Trey - thanks for the affirmation...although I'm not sure about you saying I'm normal! lol

    Anonymous - you are welcome here anytime!! Thanks so much for the compliments, I appreciate it (and I might be blushing just a wee bit)!