Throwback Thursday - Prom Edition

I did my fair share of dating in high school but I only had one full-fledged boyfriend. We dated for three months during our junior year, then I broke up with him. I can't remember why. We got back together in our senior year and dated from November to the beginning of February. He blindsided me when he broke up with me on a day that came to be known as Black Sunday.

Melodramatic? Me? In high school? Nawwww...

A couple of months later, I was walking after school with my friend Mike. We were walking to his house so he could give me a ride home. It was a pretty, sunny late-spring day. The sun felt warm on my hair but the air was still cool. As we were walking along, Mike said, "Hey, you're not dating anyone. I'm not dating anyone. Want to go to prom together?" I had absolutely no romantic interest in Mike but he was a fun, great guy and we had spent all of our high school years together - classes, choir, theater productions, the same tight-knit group of friends. Going to prom with Mike seemed like the perfect way to end a great four years. I told Mike I would love to go to prom with him.

We ended up double-dating to prom with my sister and a guy she did NOT want to go with. The guys wore matching "silver" tuxes. I wore a lavender full-length gown from JC Penney and my sister wore a dress that she and our mom made from fabric Mom had purchased in Europe in the 1960s. The four of us had dinner at THE restaurant for prom dates, danced ourselves silly at the prom, then went to the school-sanctioned post-prom party at the bowling alley. Mike got so drunk that he threw up, which irritated the hell out of me, but I had a great time.

 Even now, over 30 years later, that sweet moment when Mike asked me to the prom makes me smile and gets me a bit choked up. Mike and I have lost touch over the years but he will always have a little spot in my heart.

Little kindnesses

Holy cats, it’s been a long time! I really should be studying for my Catering exam tomorrow (would anyone have predicted that Catering would be this semester’s Econ? Nope, didn’t think so.) but Boston got me thinking. Well, several lovely reactions to Boston got me thinking.

Jen said, “Rather than lamenting the evil that happens every minute in every part of the world, remind yourself that humans are intrinsically good.”

Patton Oswalt said, “So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think, 'The good outnumber you, and we always will.'"

I think it’s mostly about the little things. I can’t change the world but I can make an impact on my little piece of it.

Like this:

A couple of days ago, on an almost-whim, I stopped at a Walgreen’s to see what they have in the way of makeup mirrors. (The frame/stand of mine broke a few weeks ago and I am finding it exceedingly difficult to find an acceptable replacement.) Walking through the store, I noticed a small boy with dark hair walking in one direction around a corner and down an aisle and a young woman with dark hair walking in a different direction, then around a corner and down a different aisle. She was clearly looking for someone and he looked lost.

I said to him, “Are you looking for your mom?” He just looked at me with great big eyes. The woman, whom I assumed to be his mom, started back toward where we were standing and I called out to her, “He’s over here.” She hurried over, saw him, gave me a harried, relieved “thank you” then scolded him for not staying with her and they walked away together.

It was nothing. It was, oh, maybe 30 seconds of my life. But I reunited a boy and his worried (or maybe just frustrated) mom faster than they would have found each other without me. It felt good to help them.

It was a tiny, little thing. I didn’t do it for me but it made me feel good for the rest of the day. Well, clearly it still makes me feel good since I’m writing about it two days later. More importantly, I made a tiny little impact on that mother and son.

Maybe you think this is a silly thing to write about, especially after the bombings in Boston. Maybe it is a silly thing to be proud of. But it’s these little things I know I can do so I will keep on doing them.

Mahatma Gandhi said, “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” That’s what I’m trying to do. It’s my way of fighting back.

Balancing Act

My days are suddenly full. Since I started back to college last January until a few weeks ago, my only responsibilities were school and singing with the church choir (and the occasional solo). During the summer and early fall, I helped a friend plan a charity walk but that didn’t take much of my time. My life’s scale was fairly level.

A few weeks ago, I agreed to go back to work, part-time and temporarily, at my old job to help them through their busy time. This semester is charging toward finals week and I am starting to feel the pressure of class projects that are due at the end of November. (I am finding there are not a lot of big tests in my major; instead, we have projects. Makes sense, given the creative nature of hospitality and event planning, but I’d rather take a test. Call me lazy.) In addition to my regularly-scheduled obligations and the increased volume of school work, there are a number of other unanticipated items I need to fit in. I am at the point where if it isn't on my calendar, it won't get done because there are so many things demanding my attention that I am likely to forget anything that isn't written down. I am even scheduling time for laundry and housecleaning. (Laundry gets done, at least well enough to keep me decent in public, but housekeeping is hit or miss. Mostly miss.)

It feels like 17 new things get added to my To Do stack every day. I feel out of balance and possessive of my free time. I need to fulfill my responsibilities and I want to socialize with my friends, but I know that if I don’t have some down time, too, I will go a little bonkers.

With that in mind, I am instituting Solitary Saturday. From the time I get home this Friday evening until I go to church on Sunday morning, I will not leave the house. I will sleep in, and maybe even lollygag in bed once I do wake up. I will probably answer the phone if Caller ID announces a select few loved ones but anybody else is definitely SOL. (Hear that, politicians?) I will be productive because I have to be, but it will focus on housework rather than homework. Solitary Saturday will also include plenty of “wasted” time. I mean, c’mon, my DVR, my Pinterest (aka Internet crack) account, and Pogo need love, too.

Oooh, I just realized that I even get an extra hour Saturday night! Whether I will spend that hour awake or asleep it yet to be determined.

Intentionally moving to the other side of the scale for 24 hours will rejuvenate me. Heck, just knowing Solitary Saturday is coming centers me. I am an extrovert and definitely a social person but I need time away from the world, too, and Solitary Saturday is the counterweight to all of my busy-ness.

What do you do when life gets unbalanced? Do you take time for yourself or do you find it hard to do?

Caramelized Onions, a Run-on Blog Post

I’ve been busy in the kitchen lately. (Truth be told, I've been just plain busy since the fall semester started 5 weeks ago.) I’m not going to say I’ve been cooking a lot, although I have done a lot more cooking and baking in the last few weeks than I have done for a long, long time. Along with the actual cooking/baking, I have been a smoothie-making fool, which has led to a lot of experimentation with flavors and also with freezing fruit.

I discovered that freezing bananas in their skins doesn’t work well, at least not for me. If I tried to use them frozen, I had to cut the skins off with a sharp knife. If I thawed the bananas to use them, I was completely – and I mean COMPLETELY – grossed out by the slimy, watery mess that slid out of the blackened skins. Guh-ross.

I also discovered that store-bought frozen peaches taste like canned peaches (yuck) but fresh peaches, peeled and cut into chunks, freeze beautifully (name that movie) and make a really, really good smoothie. To which end I bought 8 pounds of peaches the other day. Yes, I do live alone, why do you ask?

I could go on. But the objective today is to crow about the caramelized onions I made on Sunday. When I tasted the finished product, I said, “Oh, mama, these are good!” Out loud. Alone in my apartment. Yeah, they are that good.

This is not quick, but it is easy. I spent about two hours, start to finish, but once the onions are in the pot, I had many 5-10 minute intervals to fill. In addition to achieving amazing onions, my kitchen is super clean!

 

The finished product.

Next time I will take before and after pictures.

Here’s the method/recipe:

Caramelized Onions

6 large sweet yellow onions

2 T. olive oil
2 T. butter
2 t. salt

Yield: 2-3 cups of yummmmm

Cut tops and root ends off of onions and peel. Slice onions lengthwise¹ into small (1/4-1/2” wide) slices.

Heat oil and butter in large heavy dutch oven² on medium until butter melts. Add onions to pot and stir to coat onions with oil/butter³. The onions will probably fill the pot to the top.

Cook on medium, stirring gently every 5 minutes, for 15-20 minutes. The onions will reduce in volume very quickly. When onions are translucent, sprinkle one teaspoon of salt over the onions; stir, then repeat with second teaspoon of salt and stir.

Continue to cook over medium or medium low⁴, stirring every 5-10 minutes until all of the liquid is evaporated. This may take an hour or a bit more. Use spoon/spatula⁵ to scrape up any browned bits from the bottom of the pot when stirring.

When the liquid is almost gone, reduce the heat. Continue to cook, stirring every 2-3 minutes, until onions reach the desired level of golden-brown deliciousness. It is important to watch the onions and stir frequently as you reach the end.

You can add a splash of wine or balsamic vinegar near the very end to add a bit of flavor and deglaze the pot. I’m sure I will try wine sometime because I love using wine in cooking but you may have deduced by now that I like these ridiculously delicious sweeties straight up.

 

¹ I have no idea why cutting the onions length-wise is important, but every single recipe/video/guide I saw online (much research went into the production of these onions) specifically said to cut length-wise. Maybe next time I’ll cut them cross-wise. Yeah, that’s right, I get crazy like that.

² I used my fabulous ceramic-coated cast iron dutch oven. Directions I read online said to use a large, heavy skillet with a large surface area. That would probably reduce the cooking time because the liquid would evaporate faster, but I love the results I got with the dutch oven and the ceramic coating is almost non-stick.

³ I added the onions in stages so stirring was easier.

⁴ You want more than a calm simmer, less than a full-on boil.

⁵ I used a wooden spatula for the whole process – it worked great.

 

The whole reason I spent two hours of my Sunday cooking onions is because I wanted to include them in my idea for breakfast pizza. I’ve been on a homemade pizza kick lately, sparked by this pizza crust recipe, so I've been googling and Pinterest searching all things pizza and somewhere along the line I came across recipes for breakfast pizza. Which compelled me to seek out interesting toppings, which led me to the caramelized onions.

After the onions were perfectly cooked, I baked them in a pizza topped with:

“sauce” made of cream cheese mixed with Rotel

caramelized onions (I probably don’t have to tell you that it was very, very hard to go easy on the onions)
cooked mild sausage
a sprinkling of shredded cheddar cheese
one egg

 

Ignore the odd shape of my pizza. Ignore the off-center placement of the egg. This pizza was tasty!

Now...how many places can I use caramelized onions??

What’s the tastiest dish you have created lately?

A cautionary tale

Once upon a time, there was a girl. A girl who, while occasionally given to fits of economic impulsivity, generally lived within her means. Her means did not allow for purchase of fripperies like hardcover books, beautiful but impractical shoes, fancy-pants culinary ingredients, or glittery yet oh-so-unnecessary jewels. Most of the time, this girl was content…well, maybe not content, but tolerant…with her financial station.

One day she whiled away a quiet afternoon by perusing the pretty things offered for sale by the fanciful but dangerous dragon known as The Internet. She had spent many, many, many, many, many hours thus engaged before but had not been tempted by the dragon’s wares. This day, however, was different.

This day, she stumbled upon the most beautiful adornment she had ever seen. A ring. Possibly the most perfect ring ever created. A ring, she believed, created just for her.

A large, deep purple, rectangular amethyst sat above a wide band of silver. The stone was secured to the band by heavy yet delicate swirls of silver at each corner. The design was simple and whimsical, delicate and strong…like the girl. The dragon’s price was dear, but not so dear that it was beyond possibility, if she played her cards right and did not order delivery pizza too often.

She desired the ring. The desire sprouted deep in her heart and grew like Jack’s beanstalk until it leapt out of her mouth. “I will have this ring!” she declared.

Being a mostly-responsible girl, she put the ring at the very top of her wish list. And she wished. She wished for a fairy godmother to drop the ring into her lap. She wished for a handsome prince to place the ring on her finger. (Sometimes she just wished for the handsome, or even not-so-handsome, prince, but that is a different story.) She wished for a windfall. She wished for a magically low power bill that would leave just enough coins in her pocket to pay for the ring. (She did not, however, stash a leftover coin or two away on the rare occasions that she had a coin or two left over. Mostly-responsible, yes. Hugely gifted with foresight and a desire to save, not so much.)

Alas, her wishes did not come true. As the months passed, the girl occasionally tiptoed (tip-fingered? finger-tipped?) back to the site of her beloved ring, creeping quietly so as not to wake the dragon, and sighed as she gazed on the ring’s beauty. “Someday,” she whispered, “someday you will be mine.”

Then the mournful day came when she revisited the site only to find that the ring was gone. Vanished into thin ether(net). She searched frantically, googled hither and yon, certain she could find her darling ring hiding among the treasures in some other dragon’s lair. But it was as if the ring never existed.

She mourned.

Months and months and months went by. The girl was enticed by other charming jewels, even other rings, but she never forgot the swirled beauty. Even today, years after discovering the perfect ring – and years after losing it, probably to somebody's foolish stepsister with big feet and a sugar daddy – she searches for it. She knows that she will never find it but she also knows she will never be completely complete without it.

Life goes on and the girl goes with it. Other things make her happy and she has mostly accepted the loss of the ring she never had. But sometimes, when the moon is bright and the need to surf silently among the dragon’s merchandise is strong, she sighs and longs for the ring.

The moral of the story is this: When you find something you love, really, really, REALLY love, you must buy it. Now. It might not be there tomorrow.

School Daze

A little over two years ago, I created a goal:

Graduate from the University of Nebraska-Lincoln with a Bachelor of Science degree in Hospitality, Restaurant and Tourism Management with an emphasis on Event Planning.

Funny thing is I didn’t really identify that statement as my goal until about five minutes ago. On that October Saturday in 2009, I said to myself, “Self, I want to move to Lincoln, NE. I want to be closer to Himself. I want to enroll at UNL in Event Planning.” And I did that.

OK, so maybe those were my short-term goals at the time. But it just hit me that the long-term goal is graduation. I didn’t really think about graduation – about actually earning the degree – until now!

So, good. I need to find something to remind me of that long-term goal as I work through the next series of short-term goals. Because the short-term goals feel very daunting right now:

Complete first Microeconomics assignment without suffering stress-induced aneurism.
Welcome “insect pets” into my home. (You will probably hear more about this in the near future.)
Pass Microeconomics.
Get ‘A’s in all other classes.

I have completed one week of classes. It was exhilarating. It was stimulating. It was scary!

I love being on campus and I love being in class. I am really looking forward to getting into the meat of these classes and interacting with my fellow students and the instructors.

I am not really looking forward to Microeconomics. It is touted as being the 6th hardest course at UNL. Half the time that scares me to death; the other half of the time I take it as a challenge. I am a very smart girl, I can definitely pass the class. But I want to do better than the 2.51 average earned by previous Microecon students. One week and one lecture in, and currently working on a 5-page, single-spaced assignment, I’m in the scared-to-death zone.



Graduation, graduation, graduation…

Yay, me.

Well, I didn’t really want to come back this way but, as someone dear to me likes to say, it is what it is.

Next Monday is the realization of one dream and the beginning of a long journey. It is the first day of Spring 2012 classes at the University of Nebraska – Lincoln. I am enrolled full-time and I am SO excited to take this next step! I have been working toward this goal for over two years and I am proud of myself for sticking with it and doing what I needed to do to make it happen.

But all I can think right now is that I don’t want to do it alone. I know that my friends and family are proud of me and everyone is encouraging me to succeed but here…now…I am alone.

No one to high-five that I made it. No one to put their arms around me and tell me that they know I can do it when I am afraid that I can’t. No one to take a picture of me on the first day of school. No one waiting at the end of the day to hear how things went. No one who will wash the dishes so I can tackle my Econ homework.

Difficult times are hard to face alone but I think the triumphs are even harder. It’s really hard to celebrate alone.

Something New

Well, hi. Long time, no see, huh? I don’t really have anything to say but thought I would post something just to remind y’all (and myself) that I’m still here.

I saw this over at Abnormally Normal (in her archives, I think) and since it’s one I haven’t seen before, I gotta do it. I do love a meme.

What accessories do you wear everyday? Amethyst ring, faith/hope/love necklace, silver earrings.

What is your beauty routine?
Morning: wash face with Neutrogena Healthy Skin Anti-Aging Anti-Blemish Cleanser (it’s just not right to fight pimples and wrinkles at the same time!); brush teeth; smooth Neutrogena Healthy Skin Anti-Aging Anti-Blemish Cream on nose and temples; philosophy When Hope Is Not Enough serum all over face; during winter, philosophy Hope in a Bottle on cheeks; philosophy Dark Shadows cream under eyes. (I would not date my skin – it’s so high maintenance!) Eyeliner, shadow, two concealers, blush, and mascara. Redken Anti-Snap leave-in conditioner on bottom half of hair – blow dry and curl or flat iron it even though the wind and humidity will destroy any style the second I walk out the door. Finish up with deodorant and Beautiful perfume. No wonder it takes me over an hour to go from bed to out the door.

Night: wash face with philosophy Purity Made Simple cleanser; brush teeth; Vaseline petroleum jelly on elbows, cuticles, and lips; Curel hand lotion on hands; Fruit of the Earth Vitamin E cream on feet.

What was the last item of clothing you bought? Bad-ass biker chick platform sandals. A male co-worker told me that he really likes them – I figure that is a great endorsement!

Do you use a dresser, closet, or both? Both.

What type of earrings are in your ears right now? Lazy day at home, so none, but you will always see some kind of pretty, silver thing dangling from my ears when I’m out and about.

What type of figure do you have? I believe the technical term for my body type is endomorphic. I call it lush, round, plus-size, or fat depending on my mood.

Do you wear glasses? Yes but I wear contacts most hours of the day.

What type of handbag do you carry? I am on my third Vera Bradley Bowler. It would be the most perfect bag ever if they made it in black or red leather.

What is your ideal style? Classic with a punch of trendiness and a whisper of hoochie.

What jewelry are you wearing right now? None.

Do you wear knee-hi stockings? Hell, no.

Do you have to wear matching lingerie? No. I would LOVE to but bras that contain the architecture required to support my assets generally only come in white, nude, and black.

Do you wear makeup? Yes. I generally don’t leave the house without something on my eyes.

Do you wear nightgowns? Yes. I don’t like wearing pants in bed.

What outerwear do you put on when going out on a typical winter's day? Scarf my BIL brought from Afghanistan; mock-fur-lined, faux-suede black coat; black leather mittens. Yes, leather mittens. They rock.

What is your favorite perfume? Estee Lauder’s Beautiful. I have worn it for 20 years. Estee Lauder started the “Beautiful bride” advertising campaign during the year that I was engaged to be married so I figured I had to try it. I have tried other scents from time to time but I can’t find anything I like nearly as well. Plus, rarely a week goes by without a compliment on how nice I smell.

Is your motto "quality over quantity"? Absolutely. For example, I would much rather spend $100 on one pair of shoes that are comfortable and will last several seasons than on 5 pairs of shoes that make my feet hurt and will fall apart in weeks.

Do you wear rain boots? No, but I am mindful of the shoes I wear when I know it’s supposed to rain.

Do you wear socks or slippers when your feet get cold? First socks, then I add slippers only when my feet won’t stay warm without them.

Do you have a set of travel luggage? A matched set? No. My favorite travel piece is a Vera Bradley Miller bag.

What is your daily uniform? I guess the closest I get to a uniform is that I always wear pants. I love skirts but they don’t love me and I detest pantyhose – and anyone who goes without some sort of leg covering during a Midwestern winter needs to skip the head examination and go straight to the nuthouse. So, pants and a pastel- or jewel-toned top.

If you are married, did you wear a veil with your wedding dress? Well, I *was* married, and yes, I did wear a veil: a big, poufy, totally early-90’s number handmade by an Asian woman in Chicago.

Do you wear a watch? No. My cell phone is always nearby and there are clocks almost everywhere.

Do you prefer zippers or buttons? Wow, I never thought about it. Except for pants, I’d rather have neither.

What item of clothing always makes you feel extremely beautiful? Dunno about a specific item of clothing but I feel beautiful and sexy in tops with wide, cleavage-revealing (but not so low as to be vulgar) necklines and high heels.

So, how 'bout you? How extensive is your beauty routine? What makes you feel pretty?

Dear Daylight Savings Time

Dear Daylight Savings Time,

You get a bad rap. People hate you. They complain about losing an hour of sleep when you come back to town. They complain about how tired and sluggish they feel for days afterward.

I am not one of those people. I welcome you with wide-open arms. I gladly forfeit one short hour of sleep if it means I get to drive home with the sun on my face, and - more importantly - enjoy hours of daylight after a day of slaving for the man in my sunless cube.

Your arrival means that spring is here and that summer is not far behind. You are the harbinger of blue skies, blooming flowers, warm breezes, hot sunshine, birds singing, waving green grass, sandals, swimsuits, short sleeves, no outerwear. My frostbitten heart sings with joy when I the first whispers of your return.

So welcome back, DST! It’s nice to see you earlier than last year. I encourage you to hurry back sooner each year until you bump into that dastardly Fall-back Saturday and kick his miserable, lazy behind into next week. Or last year. Something like that.

Warmly,
Violet

Since I Been Gone *

Since the last time I wrote, I

...cried a million tears (Like I predicted, our story is not over. But it is on pause.)

...hosted a Superbowl party (The neighbors complained about the noise. College students. At 8:35 p.m. What is this world coming to?)

...flew to the East Coast and back (Don't get me started on baggage fees.)

...danced more than I have danced in years (I'm considering a new life as "that weird old lady who hangs out at the club and dances all by herself".)

...drank some whisky (My life doesn't have enough whisky in it.)

...spent the night in the Minneapolis airport (Why does the tram announcement voice have a British accent?)

...hosted an Academy Awards party (Girls only. We ate, we gossiped, we critiqued the dresses. It was fantastic.)

...lost four pounds (Funny how that happens when one starts paying attention to what and how much one puts in one's mouth.)

Life is good.



*bastardization of Kelly Clarkson's Since You Been Gone

Self-Mutiliation

Me and Aron Ralston. Cutting off body parts to save our own lives.

He cut off his arm, I cut out part of my heart. With a dull paring knife. OK, maybe not, but it feels like I did. Well, that’s not accurate, either, because right now the ragged edges of my heart are numb.

Very long story very short, I finally ended my relationship with Himself. I (finally) realized that I will never have the place in his life that I want, or the relationship I want, as long as his life stays the way it is. I believe that he wants to change it but I haven’t seen any effort to actually make changes and I can’t wait anymore. Quite suddenly, I find that I am done. I’m empty.

I am very glad that our last conversation went better than I hoped. I was able to say to him everything I wanted to say and he listened and responded with kindness, understanding, and love. Neither one of us thinks this is the end forever but, for me, it is the end unless/until he makes changes in his life that will allow him to make me a priority.

There is a Himself-shaped hole in my heart and I miss him so much it truly is a physical thing. Even so, I know that if I were to allow myself to get involved with him again before he makes those changes, I would only end up back here again.

I am absolutely certain that I did the right thing. I know this is for the best. I know all that.

I know.

Knowing it doesn’t change how I feel. When the numbness wears off, this is going to hurt.

A lot.

By Request – New Friends

Make new friends,
But keep the old
One is silver
And the other’s gold.

I don’t make friends easily. Sure, I am friendly with people and comfortable starting conversations with strangers and new acquaintances, but I’m never quite sure how to make the transition from casual work/church/wherever conversations to real friendship, spending time together and building a relationship. Maybe I’m picky, maybe people only like me in small doses, I don’t know. It’s something that I think about sometimes, but in a curious way, it’s not something that bothers me.

When I moved to Nebraska in August, I knew it would take time for me to find friends. It’s hard to make new friends when you are a grown up. It’s especially hard to make new friends when you are a single, childless, petless, female grown up in a new town – where do you find like-minded people when you don’t have an automatic jumping-off point? Since I’m not a guy, I don’t hang out in sports bars, and I can’t afford my hobbies (quilting, needlework, and beading) anymore, so work and church are the only obvious spots.

I started my new job in late October. On my second or third day there, BossMan (hee, that makes him sound like a paunchy, middle-aged, middle manager which he is so not!) sent me to sit with three more experienced coworkers to observe and absorb some of the process of our work. The first two were pleasant, friendly ladies who were very nice but also very business-only. I enjoyed sitting with them but didn’t feel anything more than a collegial, workmate connection.

When I sat down with Sarah, the last of the three, it was one of those moments when my soul said, “Hey, I know you!” Maybe that sounds weird but it happens to me every once in a while – I meet someone and it’s like they’ve always been there but I haven’t seen them for a very, very long time. Sarah was professional and described what she was doing but we also started chatting and I liked her right away. I remember thinking, “Cool – I found my girl!”

Making friends is like dating: “Does she really like me? Does she like me as much as I like her? Should I ask her out for lunch? Am I coming on too strong?” For the next couple of weeks, Sarah and I chatted occasionally but I, with my typical reticence when it comes to new relationships (one of the reasons I call myself an introverted extrovert), played it cool. Then one day I was having a bad day, feeling really lonely, and I mentioned it to Sarah. She immediately invited me to a trick or treat party hosted by some other friends and I accepted. Sarah later told me that she’d been looking for an opening and my admission of loneliness was perfect timing. I guess I’m not the only one who isn’t completely secure in the friendmaking dance!

I went to the party and met Tonya and Gabrielle, and we clicked, too. Since then, the four of us have started meeting once a week for “girls’ night”. I feel so lucky that I found not only one kindred spirit here in my new town but three! They are so much fun, they are loving, compassionate women, and they seem to be tolerating enjoying my neuroses quirks panache. I am enjoying them so much!

2010 in Twelve Words (plus two)

January - calm
February - goals
March - lists
April - grocery girl
May - planning
June - exhausted
July - boxes
August - Nebraska!
September - unemployed
October - content
November - new friends
December - lovefest

Things I hate

Dill
Nuts (although pecans and almonds are growing on me)
Cold weather (I'm in trouble, friends. It's coming and there's nothing I can do to stop it.)
Celery (raw celery makes my tongue numb)
Socks and shoes
White noise
Prima donnas
Wearing a jacket or coat
Milk (I know, I'm weird.)
Washing the dishes

But more than anything else right now, I hate sitting at a desk with no work to do.

Seriously, I have absolutely nothing to do. I have answered the phone three times this morning and that's about it. Yes, Dad, I hear you whispering that it's easy money and you're right, but sitting here with no work is very stressful for me. Especially when it's a temp job and I've only been here a week - I want to make a good impression (although I guess I am - yesterday I was told that if I need one, they would gladly provide a recommendation for me "and it would be glowing.") and I want to help out. I'm doing everything they want me to do...I guess I just need to accept that this is a very quiet position in a very quiet office.

But I don't have to like it.

Update: That was this morning. I just had an interview for a permanent position, number 6 or 7, I think. I hate interviewing more than I hate having nothing to do. I hate putting myself out there to be judged over and over again. I hate that I know how good I am but apparently I am not conveying that. And I hate feeling so frustrated about the whole thing.

Harumph.

Bits and Bobs

I don't tweet but I have had lots of thoughts recently that I then thought would make good twitters (tweets? twits? chirps?). These are some of them:

I heard The Young and the Restless theme song (also known as "Nadia's Theme") just now. I cannot stand Y&R plus I am usually at work at this time of day, so it has been years and years since I heard it. I had forgotten what a pretty song it is.



Honeycrisp apples - yum!!

My parents were here this weekend. Good visit but it didn't go completely unmarred. Friday night, my mother said, "I am proud of you for cleaning the kitchen before you go to bed." Yes, she really did. *sigh*

Looks like I will start a temp job very soon. I want to get back to work - I need to make money and I need to fill my days - but part of me is sorry this "empty" time is coming to an end.

I love to read but I also love books themselves.

I found a little article in Midwest Living about cake balls. I am inspired to try new flavor combinations!

What's in your head today?

Meet my bestie

This is my BFF, the fabulous Mary Alice:

She just started her own blog. She has decided to chronicle her weight loss journey as a way to stay focused and strong.

I'd love it if you would drop by her blog and leave a comment. I know how wonderful your encouraging comments are - and I know she would be tickled by them, too.

If you never hear from me again it's because Mary Alice murdered me for posting this picture. It was worth it - I have no remorse.

Goodbye, old friends

Today I say a sad, fond goodbye to Carly, Jack, Lisa, Tom, Margo, Lucinda, Lily, Holden, Luke, Noah, Katie, Henry, Nancy, Kim, Bob and so many others.

Today marks the end of As the World Turns, one of the longest-running soap operas in television history.

I am a third generation ATWT fan. My Grammie and my mom watched ATWT from the first episode, when Nancy Hughes said "Good morning, dear" to her beloved husband, Chris. Mom was ironing and watching the show in 1963 when it was interrupted for Walter Cronkite's announcement to the world that President John F. Kennedy had been shot. As the World Turns is part of my memory as far back as I can remember. I remember how exciting it was when ATWT expanded from 30 minutes to an hour. Mom and I used to talk about the show's characters as if they were real friends or family members.

There were so many storylines that captured me: Tom and Margo's battle of the mind against Mr. Big...James Stenbeck's seemingly infinite rebirths (rock solid soap opera rule: if there is no body, there is no death)...Marcy's marriage to a prince...Lily and Holden's roller coaster romance from teenage first love to happily married couple to divorced parents and everything in between...Lisa and Kim's many marriages and their own catfights...Lucinda's boardroom machinations...Craig's repeated choices to do the wrong things for the right reasons...Steve and Betsy's star-crossed romance...John and Bob's heroic efforts to cure any and all ailments that befell a resident of Oakdale, Illinois...Barbara's shift from beleagured victim to vengeful shrew to wise mother.

(Growing up in central Illinois as I did, it always amused me when the show referred to its location. There is a real Oakdale, Illinois - a tiny little town deep in southern Illinois, much closer to St. Louis than Chicago. The fictitious Oakdale is only an hour or so from downtown Chicago, boasts a world-class hospital, an international airport, and a thriving corporate environment.)

My favorite couple has always been Carly and Jack. I don't know why but I identified with Carly from the very beginning, even though she was a bad girl who loved to scheme (so not me). She loved Jack from the moment she saw him and Jack loved her just as deeply. He was her G-Man and her True North even though their natures were often at odds and repeatedly tore them apart. Recently, their story has paralleled my own life in a strange way.

I rarely watched any other soap (I did flirt with General Hospital in 1983 - I had to find out why all the other girls were swooning over Luke and Laura), but I didn't need another one. As the World Turns was over the top and fantastic, sure, but it always seemed to keep one foot on the ground so that everything that happened seemed *almost* possible.

One of my favorite things about ATWT was that the story never ended - there was always more, always something new, always another adventure, romance, intrigue, or disaster around the corner. I never had to close the book or click the remote, sigh, and wish I had more time with the characters I had come to love.

Today, the story ends...and I will sigh, and cry a little, but As the World Turns will never stop turning in my heart.

Bright spots

1. the view from my balcony at dusk this evening

2.

The temp agency woman who interviewed me today said I have an engaging personality. I am probably inordinately pleased by that. Hey, I'll take what I can get! (Now, put me and my personality to work!)

3.

A BIG storm blew through Monday evening. I was standing on my balcony, watching the clouds roll in. A neighbor - who I had not met or even seen before - parked her car and walked toward the building. She called up to me, "Looks like a wild night." I replied, "Sure does!" She said, "I'm in 113 - come on down if it gets bad and you would feel safer on the first floor." How nice is that?

This day

New life in suspension

• I moved 35 days ago.
  
  
• Mary Alice left 31 days ago.
  
  
• In the time since, with the exception of two lovely visits from Himself (ah, what a complicated situation that is!) I have not seen anyone I know. That’s an odd thing to consider, isn’t it? When was the last time you went for any length of time without setting eyes on someone who cares about you?
  
  
• For the most part, I have been contentedly alone and not lonely.
  
  
• I watch too much tv, which is a real feat considering it is summer and the cable listings are a collection of 17,000 channels full of nothing.
  
  
• I am madly in love with Weeds.
  
  
• I have applied for at least one job a day.
  
  
• I have gone on three interviews and turned down one. ($10.50 an hour for a position with supervisory responsibility?? You gotta be kidding me.)
  
  
• Organization #1 did not select me. Most likely because I am WAY overqualified for the job but it still irks me to see the big “come work for us!” sign on the side of their building.
  
  
• Organization #2 closed the search “due to unforeseen circumstances.” I tried really hard not to, but I wanted that job. I would have been great at it.
  
  
• I hope to hear from Organization #3 soon. I just interviewed with them yesterday. It is temp work but that’s cool for now.
  
  
• My interest in quilting is coming back. It's about time.
  
  
• I have not had pizza. (Tombstone doesn’t count.) (Tombstone hasn't been the same since Kraft bought the company, but that's a rant for another day.)
  
  
• I have not had Chinese food. (Frozen P.F. Chang’s doesn’t count. It’s pretty tasty, by the way.)
  
  
• I just had Mexican yesterday for the first time since the move. (Fish tacos from D’Leon’s, which were yummy.)
  
  
• I have eaten more eggs in the last month than probably in the last year. I am having a crazy love affair with eggs over-easy.
  
  
• Good thing my cholesterol is quite low.
  
  
• I couldn’t have chosen a location farther from everything in Lincoln. Everything I want and/or need is on the other side of town.
  
  
• A thousand blessings on the person who invented Mapquest.
  
  
• Good thing I enjoy driving.
  
  
• I need to work because I am running out of money.
  
  
• I also need to work because I am (very slowly) running out of contented aloneness.
  
  
• Neither of those things is causing any real anxiety. I have no idea why.
  
  
• My apartment faces west and that makes me very happy. I like watching the weather come.
  
  
• And if someone can make the guy upstairs stop stomping around every. damn. night. between 10 p.m. and midnight, I will make cake balls for you.